Second Chances

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Do you ever wish you could have a second chance at something? A second chance to make things right again.

There are so many times I wish I could have another chance. I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m full of regrets. There are so many times I wish I could right the wrong, even if I’m not technically the one at fault. I always find a way to make everything my fault and I always wish I could make things right.

While we all wish we could turn back times and change things in our past we’d rather not have happened at all, we can’t. Time travelling is not feasible at all. But having a second chance at something, that’s the best we’ve got.

And, when given a second chance, more often than not, we’ll try to change things back to how they are, before it’s severed, be it a second chance at a relationship or friendship or school or work related. We’ll try to change things back and avoid the mistakes we made and hope that it’ll end on a high note, that we’ll get a happy ending out of it.

But, and I’m sure you’ve realised this by now, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, having a second chance doesn’t mean you can go back to when things were happier and more care free, especially if it has to do with a relationship.

Most of the time, we sever and destroy relationships because of our own selfishness. And sometimes, we get a second chance to restore them, to make things right with the person, be it because of a breakup, drifting apart and whatnot.

I’m not going to lie and say that I’ve never done that. I’ve given out and taken my fair share of second chances. The second chance that is the most prominent one to me would be the second chance I gave my ex. Yes, I realise I talk about him a lot but I’m trying to see if, by writing more about how I really feel, I can finally truly let go and move on.

We tried staying in touch after we broke up but it was just too overwhelming for me and I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear being ‘just friends’ with someone I was completely head over heels for. So, I broke it off. I told him I needed some time to myself, to heal, without him around.

And, to a certain extent, it worked. I felt happier and lighter. I was slowly but surely coming out of my rut. So I thought I’d try to mend that relationship, to give him a second chance. And that I did. We started talking more and such and I quickly realised that we were going back to our old ways. We started flirting again and my old feelings reignited.  And I foolishly thought that this time, it might work. That we might work.

But, of course, I was wrong. I was wrong about things going back to what they used to be. I was wrong about him again. I was wrong to think I could ever mend anything. I was wrong to think that, this time, we could have a happy ending.

And so, I broke it off again. I told him that I, once again, needed time. I needed time to truly move on and to learn to love myself again. But, this time, I did it well. I did it with a clear mind – or, at least, as clear as it can be – and I did it without remorse. I wished him well and that maybe, one day, I could forgive him for what he had done but for now, we’ve got to go our separate ways.

I may not have gotten the happy ending I wanted, but, at least, this time, I ended things right.

I hope you take this to heart. Like what it says in the picture. “Second chances don’t always mean a happy ending. Sometimes, it’s just another shot to end things right.” Because, you know, second chances aren’t easy to come by. And sometimes, that’s all we need. Another chance to end things right.

Love,

Angelyn

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