I don’t know about you, but I have the habit to dwell on the past and the ‘what if’s and the ‘could have been’s. It’s addictive and detrimental, really, but I can’t help myself. Every time a situation passes, especially if it does not go according to how I would like it to be, I’ll dwell in this pit of self pity, just wishing I could go back and change everything.
I suppose a majority of people do that. Perhaps it’s encoded in us. We were designed to wish we could change things. I mean, after all, we are our harshest critics.
But as time goes by, as I learn and grow from my actions and my mistakes, and trust me, I’ve made plenty, I start to realise that I don’t actually want to do that. Of course it’d be nice to turn back the clock and right the wrongs and erase all the things that I regret doing or that I feel embarassed about or where I hurt the people around me or where I end up hurt, but every single experience, whether good or bad, has taught me something.
It’s the same way with people, I guess. Every relationship, both romantic or otherwise, will turn out one of two ways: it breaks off or lasts a lifetime. Naturally, nobody wants to get hurt and we tend to dwell on the pain and anger and hurt and betrayal the other person caused us but remember that we inflict that kind of hurt to others too without noticing it. We may feel down because we’ve lost someone in our lives but keep in mind that it’s not for nothing.
In every relationship, we either end up with someone who will share in our laughs and joy and pain and sorrows for a lifetime or we learn. We learn from what we’ve done wrong, from what they’ve done wrong, and we grow.
And that’s what’s most important, no?
Even if I could go back and change the past, change my actions in certain situations, I wouldn’t change a thing because it made me who I am today. And yes, I still have so much to learn, but I’m getting there.
“If I could do it again I wouldn’t change a thing ’cause it’s made me who I am.” – Gravity, Against the Current
Always look forward.