If you didn’t already know, that quote is from the song ‘Touch the Sky‘ from Disney’s Brave which I am just completely utterly obsessed with.
I’ve always been obsessed with the idea of complete freedom. And by freedom, I don’t particularly mean having the chance to do anything and everything you want. By freedom, I mean breaking the chains that tie you down to this Earth, breaking free of the fear of whatever, breaking out of the shell and mask you wear and being well and truly you.
I have immense trouble with this. If you didn’t know, I have anxiety and the occassional depression, making it very hard for me to open myself up to others and letting my soul shine. I tend to hide behind a facade, to protect my heart from the cold world. And I hope that one day, I’ll be able to put it down and experience the life I want.
I want to be able to travel the world, see all the sights, immerse myself in every situation, live each day like it’s my last. I want to experience life at it’s fullest. I want to be at peace with myself. I want to finally end the war raging inside of me. I want to be free. I want to touch the sky.
And it’s hard. It’s so, incredibly hard to do that. I have a fear that if I open myself up to the world, I’ll end up hurt, betrayed, wounded, kicked to the side, trampled all over. But at the same time, I want to be free from the chains that bind me.
I know my time will come. Maybe when I’m older and wiser and have found a place where I can be me. I don’t know when that will be – 5, 10, 15 years from now, maybe more – but I know it’ll come. I know my time will come. I know it’ll get better. I know it’s darkest before the dawn and that the sun will come up. And it will be beautiful. And it will be worth it.
And I trust God to bring me there. I don’t know how many of you believe in God, but I do. I believe that the time will come and that He will lead me out of this tunnel of suffering and into the light. And I’m waiting, I’m waiting for Him to do just that. And I know that His timing is impeccable and His power is made perfect in weakness.
“I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground.” – Touch the Sky, Hillsong
And I know my time will come. And I know that things will look up. And that things will only get better.
And I know, that one day, I will be free.
And when that day comes, I’ll be ready. I’ll be ready to chase the wind and touch the sky.