Things I Want to Change

81c86f2727926d650de5fa5c77cfe1b8

Hey guys.

How is your 2017 so far? Mine’s ok, I suppose. As ok as ok goes. I’m not feeling the best, but it definitely could be worse. But, you know, it’s just the beginning of the year and things are bound to change as things progress.

And so, I want to talk about that fleeting thing everyone talks about on New Year’s Day but neglects as soon as the first week is over: New Year’s Resolutions.

To be completely transparent, I’m not really a New Year’s resolutions kind of person. Yes, I set goals for myself but I never did it specifically during the new year because, well, what’s the point? You can commit yourself to goals or resolutions any time of the year. It’s not particularly ‘special’ on that one day. You still need to work hard, and it doesn’t miraculously happen.

But alas, this year I’ve decided to set myself goals for the coming year, especially since I’m taking a gap year for various reasons (which is a whole ‘nother blog post for another day), I thought it’d be great if I could give myself things to work for (albeit a week late but better late than never).

So here are my 2017 resolutions.

 

1. Write more

As you probably know, I love writing. It’s my hobby, my passion, and most importantly, my escape. But I haven’t been writing as much as I wish I have.

And since I have a book coming out (it still hasn’t sunk in yet), I thought it’d be a great time to focus on my writing, to improve and strive to become the best writer I can be.

I aim to do something writing related everyday, be it actually writing, working on my novel, writing a short, editing, reading, or even just working on my Wattpad account in general.

I hope that, by the end of the year, my writing would have improved compared to what it is now. After all, there’s no end to learning, and there’s always room for improvements.

2. Learn a new language

I’ve been meaning to master another language besides English for a while now. Yes, I can speak, read and write Malay – after all, it’s my national language – but I’m not exactly the best at it. I speak very broken Malay (I’m much better at writing, ironically but at the same time, not so) and I can’t speak Mandarin to save my life (though I understand quite a bit of the language).

So I’ve decided to learn Japanese. Why Japanse, you ask? Especially since it’s one of the harder languages to learn. Well, I have one word for you.

Anime. Or manga. Whichever you prefer.

I’m not going to lie; the main reason I want to learn Japanese is so I can watch anime without subtitles (cause wouldn’t that be awesome). Though I am extremely fascinated by Japanese culture and have always found it very cool.

I’ve started learning a bit since last year – mostly hiragana – but I’ll focus on it more this year.

Like with writing, I aim to do something Japanese-learning related everyday and so far, I’m doing quite well.

3. Practice arting

I don’t think arting is a word but let’s just pretend it is.

I’ve always been fascinated by people who are artistic and have never considered myself a good artist (especially when it comes to drawings) and I’ve decided that this is the year I put an end to that.

I want to practice drawing and just art in general. I know not everyone who can art well now is born with the talent, so I’m going to stop making excuses and practice, because practice is important.

I guess you could compare this to my writing. I didn’t start out good at writing. It took years of practice and writing to come to where I am today. And I still have a long way to go, but at least I’m sort of proud of my writing now.

Before I go off topic, I’m going to do that with my art skills to. I’m going to practice. And even if I hate my drawings now, I’m going to practice until I’m a little less bad and maybe, one day, even become somewhat good.

Like with the previous two, I’ll be practicing or doing something art-related everyday.

4. Spend more time with God

Now, I try not to discuss religion on here as I don’t want to defend anyone, so I’ll keep this short and sweet, but I’m a strong Christian, I would say. But lately, I’ve been growing distant from God and want to rekindle my relationship with Him and just rekindle the passion I have back before all the crazy things started happening, which brings me to my next resolution.

5. Work on my mental health

As you all probably know, especially if you’ve been reading this blog, I suffer from a variety of mental health issues, mainly anxiety and depression. I’ve been going through this for quite a few years and it’s only getting worse, to the point that it’s starting to hinder my everyday life. My mental health is actually one of the main reasons I decided to take the year off.

Because of this, I decided to try to work towards better mental health this year… Which is also why I’ve started seeing a psychologist.

It’s a scary step for me; I spent days wondering if I should and even after I’ve made an appointment, I spent hours overthinking it and regretting my decision.

I didn’t cancel, fortunately. The firs session went kind of well, I suppose. If you’re wondering, an official diagnosis has yet to come but my psychologist did say that I’m most likely suffering from anxiety and depression, as I thought.

I’m currently on a sort of ‘break’, you could say, as I’m not in my hometown, where my treatment is taking place. My next session is in February.

I really hope it’ll get better. It’s really hard to get through everyday with both anxiety and depression. To summarise, having both is basically having a mind that overthinks and wants to do everything because whatever I do, no matter how much I do it, is not enough but at the same time, lacking the motivation to do anything at all and just end up feeling horrible all the time and extremely numb and empty.

I guess this is the one thing I really want to accomplish and work towards.

~

(because for some reason my blog refuses to save the beautiful, double space formatting I’m trying to do)

Well, that’s pretty much my resolutions for the year. Of course, I have other, smaller goals such as learning how to drive and working on my blog more, but that’s beside the point.

These are the 5 main things I really want to achieve this year, even if I don’t end up doing anything else.

What are your new year’s resolutions? And how are you doing so far?

I hope all of you are well. I’ll be posting updates for all these resolutions, especially in terms of my mental health, especially since this blog has sort of become like a diary or journal for me.

And it’s Monday today so stay strong. Friday will come before you know it.

Have a great week!

Much love,

Angie

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Things I Want to Change

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s