I’ve been in a very weird limbo recently. It starts with me feeling very tired and then feeling like I’m wasting my time and my life and everything is surreal, then getting angry and annoyed and upset at everything and then numbness. It’s almost like I feel so much that I feel nothing at all.
I’m so tired of feeling this way. This isn’t a new feeling; it’s just been more frequent recently, up to the point where it happens almost daily. I’ve tried countless methods to overcome it but I can’t seem to find one that works.
I’d distract myself with books and YouTube and writing and anime but once I stop, and I’m alone with my thoughts, the feeling sinks right back in, as if it is just waiting outside my door, waiting for an opportunity.
Whenever I’m in one of these moods, I always feel very, very exhausted, both physically and mentally. I just feel like life has no point and I lose my focus so, so easily. I don’t get hungry, and I just feel horrible.
Is this the universe’s way of punishing me? Have I done anything wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I always try to be my best, to do what will make others happy, so why am I always the one to blame? Why am I always the one to take the fall? The one everyone forgets?
I’m just so tired of everything. I’m so tired of me.
Some days, I feel like I can conquer the world. But I can safely say that for the past few weeks, I can barely even smile at all.
I hope you’re all well. And I hope you don’t feel like I do. Because no one deserves that at all.